Your Self Improvement Blog

I talk with lots people – clients and readers of my Personal Development Ezine – who explain to me that they have become far calmer, more self-aware and focused as a result of the various little “mental exercises” that they practice to banish useless thought and move themselves in the direction that they want their life to go. I often get feedback from people who tell me that their lives have altered and that they have seen many of their objectives being achieved almost effortlessly. But others wonder why, if they are developing calm, clarity and presence of mind, nothing new and exciting seems to be happening in their lives.

In answering them, I often quote what a client from Northern Ireland said to me at the height of the so-called “Troubles”. He said “It must be that, for some people, doing their mental exercises is a bit like the way some people used to go to Mass on a Sunday, kneel down and pray and, on a Monday, go out and blow someone up!” A well made point – if your exercises in personal development don’t have an impact in the ordinary course of your everyday life, there is really no point in fooling yourself into believing that you’re on the road to the life of your dreams. Personal development isn’t supposed to make you feel good for five, ten or fifteen minutes during the day, it’s supposed to change your life and if it isn’t doing that, then you’re doing something wrong.

As I write this, I’m awaiting the arrival of a client who is going to spend the next few of days with me here in the Alps. I received an advance note from him – what he called his “agenda” – and, in that note, he asks how to bring the calm and focus that you get through meditation or mental exercising into the rough and tumble of everyday life. My answer to him will be simple. During the course of the day, especially when the going gets tough, you’ve got to regularly pause, notice state of mind and compare it with the calm and clarity that you get during your personal development exercises. If you’re state of mind has drifted from your benchmark calm then you must to take a momentary step back from what’s going on, take a few deep breaths, and evoke that mental calm and focus that will make the difference to your actions and personal effectiveness in the present moment.

Personal development isn’t personal development if you don’t see real results in the course of your everyday life – if your life is still all over the place, you’re simply lulling yourself into a false sense of success where you may well end up making decisions or taking what you think is action that could make your life worse rather than better.

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