Your Self Improvement Blog

It’s obvious, success means different things to different people – their specific objectives are unique to them alone, their loved ones and their circumstances. Unfortunately however, far too often, definitions of success are based on the norms of the society in which we find ourselves – we take the achievements of society’s apparently successful people as our barometer and, consequently, our definitions of success end up being comparative, competitive and, all too often, materially focused.

A closer look, however, often reveals that those held aloft as paragons of success are nothing more than naked emperors. OK, they may have achieved success in one aspect of their lives but other facets of their lives may well be a complete mess. In addition , many so-called successful people have climbed to the top by walking over others or trampling other people’s aspirations into the dirt – if they sleep soundly it is only because they have chosen to turn a blind eye to the damage that they have done.

True success is more than that. True success should be multi-faceted. Indeed, true success must exhibit itself in every aspect of your life, otherwise you’re fooling yourself, you’re living a lie. When I work with my clients, I spend a lot of time facilitating their defining success for themselves. This is the framework definition that I offer them.

“I’m great at what I do, I put all of my energy into it and I get a kick out of it. I get well rewarded for it and it makes a positive difference to those whose lives I touch. I have a balanced life, putting all of me into everything I do, every place I am, with everybody with whom I find myself. I have a wonderful personal life and fantastic real relationships. I look after myself so that I’m fit and healthy. And I ensure that I spend lots of time doing the things that really excite me – my life is an adventure. I am happy with me, at peace in my own company.”

After that, of course, each individual’s definition of success is unique and personal. But taking this rounded perspective on success changes our perspective of what it is to have truly reached the pinnacle of human achievement. Success needs to be, first and foremost, felt and experienced within. Happiness and success should go hand in hand – and the only place that you will find true happiness is within. Where else would you expect to find it?

Everything else – the cars, the holidays, the second homes, the job titles – is transient. Like everything else in life, these things arise for a time and then pass away. Real success and happiness should not be dependent upon or attached to any of these passing wants. Seek “attachment-based” success and you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Alternatively, seek the inner peace and happiness that comes with true, balanced, across-the-board success and you will arrive at a place on which so few even take the trouble to set their sights in the first place.

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